Andrew Yuengert                Pepperdine University    

Home

Bio

Teaching

Publications

Associations

Christian Links

Andrew Yuengert

I. Catholics, Christian often defensive about sexual morality. Why should we be defensive?

    A. The culture’s view of sex

        1. Sex is an animal drive that you can’t resist and that you shouldn’t suppress (it’s unhealthy and unreasonable to be chaste).

        2. Sex is for pleasure, primarily.

        3. You should be sexually active before marriage – taking a test drive, sexual compatibility, get over your hang-ups before marriage.

        4. Sex is about technique, performance, giving pleasure.

        5. Sex has nothing to do with kids, unless and until you want it to.

    B. This relaxed view of sex is supposed to make us free and happy: ‘sexual liberation’

        1. Better marriages are supposed to result from premarital sex (test drives).

        2. Contraception is supposed to make marriages stronger (more spontaneity, no fear of children).

    C. The reality:

        1. Women are treated like, and treat themselves like, sexual objects.

        2. No one seems happy with sex.

            a. Desperate search for new "techniques" (101 new ways!?)

            b. Men worry about performance and "getting enough," women are unresponsive.

        3. Divorce, abandonment of women, children.

        4. Sexual addiction, perversion, abuse.

    D. With this sort of record, the culture should be defensive!

II. The Church predicted all of these problems! Why should we be defensive? We also offer a better alternative to the culture’s sexual vision: chaste, married love at the service of life.

    A. The fruits of this vision:

        1. Low divorce rates among those who are chaste before marriage.

        2. Extremely low divorce rates (less than 5%) among those who use natural family planning, and do not contracept.

        3. Happier sex lives, too.

    B. How can this be? What does the Church teach, and why is it right?

III. Church’s approach: revelation and natural law.

    A. Revelation: four principles from Scripture and Tradition.

        1. Gen 1:27-28. We are all made in the image of God.

            a. People have infinite dignity: God’s likeness.

            b. Never use, exploit another person.

            c. Proper response to another image of God is total, selfless love.

            d. Sex serves a sacred purpose: God uses sex to create persons who share his image.

        2. Mt 19:4-6. Two become one flesh.

            a. God designed sex to make two persons "one flesh."

            b. Total self-giving love in the context of total life commitment.

            c. Sex is supposed to join man and woman completely: not just parts of man and woman.

        3. 1 Cor. 6:15-20 : You are a temple of the Holy Spirit. What you do with your body you do with your soul.

            a. If you join yourself to another person in sin, you become one with that other person.

            b. What happens to your body happens to you! What you do with your body, you do. It’s not "just sex." It’s never impersonal.

            c. The body has its own language (body language), and what we say with our bodies affects who we are and how we develop as persons.

        4. Gen. 3. We struggle against original sin.

            a. Sin estranges us from one another (Adam and Eve had to cover up their nakedness).

            b. Our desires work against us.

                i. We want too much of good things (too much food, rest, pleasure).

                ii. We want sex at the wrong time, with the wrong person, for the wrong reasons (just because we want it).

            c. Our desires make it hard to think straight about sex; we have to be on guard against rationalization.

    B. Natural law is the way the Church tries explain the logic of these principles. They are not just rules; they are guides to happiness.

        1. Catholics believe that God made creation good, with a purpose that works to our good as his children. To be happy, we should seek  to discover that purpose, or nature, and to work with it. If we work against it, we will not be happy.

        2. Example: a rose bush has a purpose. To get a happy rose bush, you have to treat it according to its nature (sun, water, soil). If you stick it in a closet, or use it as a doorstop, it will not produce roses.

        3. How can sex make us happy? We need to know God’s purpose for sex: why did He make sex, and what does he hope to accomplish in us and through us, through sex?

            a. Babies ("Be fruitful and multiply"). God made sex in order to create new souls (Rachel, Aaron, Joe) in an environment where they can grow up to be holy and happy on this earth, and happy forever with God in heaven.

            b. Bonding for couples ("and they shall become one flesh").

        4. Why did God design sex this way? Because he wants children to be raised in loving, stable families, with a mother and a father (who are one flesh).

        5. What happens when we go against God’s design for sex? It doesn’t work the way it’s supposed to, not surprisingly.

            a. Sex outside of marriage.

                i. No commitment to lifelong fidelity, no total love

                    a. Kids without families

                    b. Abortion

                ii. Bonding still occurs, but without commitment (emotional, chemical)

                    a. People get used to betrayal, to telling lies with their bodies.

                    b. More difficult to commit later on.

            b. Sex in marriage with contraception

                i. Harder to see why this goes against the nature of sex, because it looks as if you only want one of the purposes of sex (bonding) without the other. What’s so bad about that?

                ii. John Paul II’ contribution. Rejecting our fertile natures also violates the unitive purpose (the bonding).

                    a. Your actions say "I don’t," even though you have said "I do." No total self-giving, so no full union.

                    b. Disrespects a woman’s fertility

                           i. Fertility not treated as natural, a good thing, but as a problem to be solved.

                            ii. We act as if something is wrong with a fertile woman.

                            iii. Powerful, dangerous drugs, surgery.

                            iv. No wonder women report low desire, indifference towards their husbands.

                    c. You can’t give yourself completely to your spouse and at the same time disrespect the fertility that God has built into your relationship and actions.

IV. Summary: Good news!

    A. Chastity before marriage is the best preparation for lifelong commitment in marriage.

        1. We are not led around by our sexual desires.

        2. Chaste people are free

            a. to have real friendships with men and women.

            b. to have a real courtship before marriage, and make good decisions.

            c. to make a real commitment to lifelong love in marriage, getting the full benefit of the bonding that comes with sex with one person in marriage.

        3. We should be apostles of chastity. Others should be defensive, and want what we have. Don’t be defensive!

    B. Chastity in marriage: living and respecting your fertility, and each other.

        1. God gives couples naturally infertile times which are easy to identify (natural family planning). He does not make babies during those times, and we are free to make use of those times to make love.

        2. Those who use NFP accept each other completely (including their mutual fertility), and give themselves totally.

        3. Sex in marriage should never treat fertility as if it is a problem.

        4. Fertility is integrated into the love and life of an NFP couple.

            a. Men respect their wives (and wives feel respected, loved for who they are).

            b. Men learn self-control.

            c. NFP couples have to communicate about love, family, everything. Communication is an important part of integration and wholeness.

            d. The practice of NFP develops the virtues needed for lifelong fidelity and happiness : patience, self-control, kindness, tenderness, love.

    C. It is hard to live chastely.

        1. We need to remind ourselves of the great gift we have, if we use it right.

        2. We need the support of others: find friends who share your commitment to being holy in your sexuality.

        3. Guard your thoughts, heart, eyes. What you see and do affects who you become.

        4. Frequent communion, confession, devotion to Mary.

    D. Don’t accept anything less than the best of what God has in store for you, that He has built into you.