| 1. |
For no reason whatsoever your car would crash
twice a day. |
| 2. |
Every time they repainted the lines on the road
you would have to buy a new car. |
| 3. |
Occasionally your car would die on the freeway
for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on. |
| 4. |
Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a
left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to start, in which case you have
to reinstall the engine. |
| 5. |
Only one person at a time could use the car,
unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But then you would have to buy
more seats. |
| 6. |
Macintosh would make a car that was powered by
the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on
five per cent of the roads. |
| 7. |
The oil, water temperature and alternator
lights would be replaced by a single "general car fault" warning light. |
| 8. |
New seats would force everyone to have the same
size butt. |
| 9. |
The airbag system would say "Are you
sure?" before going off. |
| 10. |
Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your
car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door
handle, turned the key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. |
| 11. |
GM would require all car buyers to also
purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they
neither needed nor wanted them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause
the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become the target of
investigation by the Justice Department. |
| 12. |
Every time GM would introduce a new model car
buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would
operate in the same manner as the old car. |
| 13. |
You'd press the "Start" button to
shut off the engine |