Anonymous Proverbs

Part I

Accident:  A condition in which presence of mind is good, but absence of body is better.

A day without sunshine is like night.

Murphy’s Law:  If any thing can go wrong, it will. 
Osborn’s Law:  Variables won’t; constants aren’t.
Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.

A 3.1 GHz Intel computer can compound and propagate your error every 0.000000000003 seconds

Bumper sticker:  Dorothy:  
                                Hate Oz, took the shoes, find your own way home.  
                                                Toto

Always borrow money from a pessimist; they don't expect to be paid back.

Always try to do things in chronological order; it's less confusing that way.

Anarchy may not be the best form of government, but it's better than no government at all.

An expert is a person who avoids the small errors while sweeping on to the grand fallacy.

Anyone can count the seeds in an apple.  No one can count the apples in a seed.

Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced.

Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench to pound in the correct screw.

Artificial Intelligence is the study of how to make real computers act like the ones in movies.

Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Be kind to unkind people - they need it the most.

A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have enlightened him with ours.

Another bumper sticker: Auntie Em: Hate you, hate Kansas, taking dog. Dorothy

Business is like a wheelbarrow. Nothing ever happens until you start pushing.

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.

Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.

Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.

Conscious is when you are aware of something, and conscience is when you wish you weren't.

Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.

Democracy is mob rule, but with income taxes.

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.

Eschew obfuscation.